Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Cutting Middlebrow off in the lane
Middlebrow stopped by my office today and announced that he was going to write about the Jazz. "They are looking good," he stated with some amount of passion. I couldn't agree with him more, so I thought I would cut Middlebrow off in the lane and steal the ball from him for a quick-and-easy layup of my own.As I stated before, I believe the Jazz are going to rock the league this year. Boozer is unstoppable with his consistent double-doubles, and Kirilinko has seemingly gotten over his hissy fit from the pre-pre-season and manned-up some to return to his solid defensive game (look at all those blocked shots last night against the Kings.) He's also quick and stealthy as a cat and his commitment to seeing a play through has paid off. Okur (who's inconsistency outside of late) has found a new home in the lane, where he takes it to the basket, overcoming weaker and smaller defenders. Williams is essential to the team, of course, and has the potential this year of a true break-out season. The bench is pretty solid, and it is interesting that Collins is starting out strong again this year, although I suspect that is because he feels threatened by Fesenko's presence as back-up-back-up center. We'll see how the season goes for him, although we were tempted last night to write to Jazz announcers Boller and Booner in their "Tough Questions" bit "Why is Collin's still with the Jazz?" That would have just been plain snarky, however.
The only weakness I see for the Jazz right now is a backup for Williams, but that is due to inexperience and youth more than anything else. Give them some time. Hart has potential, although every time he comes in he looks like he is in an NCAA final rather than an NBA game. Until I looked at his bio I assumed he was quite new to the league. Guess that's what I get for not paying much attention to the teams that don't perform (well other than the Jazz). Perhaps i am conflating Hart and Ronnie Price together? That might be the case. Anyway, the Jazz are hurting for an experience point guard to back up Williams.
On the other hand we are shooting guard and forward rich. That covers a lot of territory given that in a pinch Kirilinko can make a passable, albeit gangly point guard.
Ok, sorry MB for cutting you off in the lane. My foul. Shoot two.
Labels: basketball, fun, prediction, sports
¶ 11:43 AM 1 comments
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Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Jazz!
Jazz play again tomorrow night. Ah, Jazz. 2 and 2 on the season. Too bad we can't play Golden State every night.
Truth is, I am just posting this non-post because Comcast is being such a freak and I need to see if I can get it to force the issue.
What a pain in the ass. Sounds like another scathing letter form the Wookie is coming.
Labels: basketball, comcastsucks, fun, Jazz, sports
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Sunday, November 04, 2007
Three more reasons to hate the 80s
At the Fat Flake Festival last night.
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Friday, November 02, 2007
For lis (80s, 60s, & 90s straight out of 2001!)
So lis, I dare you to play this at your wedding: The_Smiths-how_soon_is_now.mp3 (audio/mpeg Object)?I love the thesaurus action going on there.
Perhaps it will be this lovely ditty instead?
Or perhaps you prefer French Canadian 90's work?
I did so love 2001. Well the early part. Not the blowing up and terrorist things part.
Did I say that out loud?
Enjoy the silence.
Labels: age, fun, marriage, songs, wedding, whatthehelliswrongwithyou
¶ 7:41 PM 1 comments
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Monday, October 29, 2007
Best Halloween Decorations Ever or Snowboarding on Dia de los Muertos
We decorated the old place in hopes that the snowboarding season starts as early as predicted.
Labels: decorations, fun, halloween, holiday, skeleton, video
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Thursday, October 04, 2007
The most favorite thing I've written in a long time
Witness:Thank god we are finally separated from that elitist cabal of washed-up ne'er do-wells.
Labels: email, fun, jokes, language
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Thursday, September 27, 2007
Pulling out all the rhetorical tricks
Rather than waiting for today to write my email to TgP folks, I decided to take it on late last night. I'm rather pleased with my tone in the following letter. I sound like someone straight out of 1875:Dear Mr. [X],
I had the great fortune of attending this night's concert of the Arcade Fire and LCD Sound System at Thanksgiving Point (September 26, 2007). The show was very good and you should be commended for programming these two extraordinary bands.
My evening was spoiled, however, by the overly zealous security that proclaimed my Nikon D40x camera as "too professional" to be allowed into the venue. This surprised me, as my friends who had compact cameras (which the Nikon D40x is not) were allowed into the show. Many of these cameras were of higher resolution than mine. While they were allowed into the show, I, in the mean time, had to hike back to the car and secure my camera, thus missing the majority of the LCD Sound System's set. I might note, that I am a fan of the LCD Sound System, and feel somewhat robbed by that experience.
I would have left my camera at home, but, after checking the Thanksgiving Point web site as well as my ticket I saw no notification that cameras of any type were barred. I took my camera in good faith that I would be allowed to take pictures of what I experienced and of my good friends' enjoyment of the show and of Thanksgiving Point.
Was I mistaken? Are certain cameras allowed and others are not? Why was such a distinction not made public? Why was it not posted on your web site?
Honestly, I am really not certain where the distinction in cameras s being made here. As most people who attend concerts, I only take photos of things I want to remember, and if I share them on the Internet (as my friends who brought compact, higher resolution cameras have already done) it is only for the purpose of sharing my experience with my friends. The arbitrary rules excluding my camera or other such digital single lens reflex cameras at Thanksgiving Point seem out of place in our day and age.
Can you explain to me why I was forced to 1) not be able to take pictures that would advertise the beauty of your venue to my friends, and 2) miss a substantial portion of the show that I paid $36.00 for in order to secure a camera that is of lower resolution than cameras that were allowed into the show?
Sincerely,
[Theorris Boonasty, Esq.]
Labels: bitching, complaints, email, fun, music, rhetoric
¶ 9:37 AM 4 comments
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Monday, September 17, 2007
The Official Signifying nothing Monolith Music Festival Awards
So this past weekend, as astute readers might have noticed, I was a the Monolith Music Festival held at the ever-beautiful Red Rocks amphitheater in Morrison, Colorado. Aside from being denied taking decent pictures, I had quite the time. I have decided, therefore to hand out my own awards in various categories to the bands who I had the honor to witness. I was considering boring you all with a narrative of the trip, but that just seems a bit too self-indulgent. I will, therefore, leave it with appropriate awards and commentary.Most fun
==Matt & Kim
These kids knew how to rock. Kim had cranked the drums and enjoyed every minute of their set. A smile never left her face. Matt was the most amusing yet competent musician I've seen in awhile.
Favorite line: "What the fuck is that?" said while looking at the giant red rock reef in hovering over his upper-deck stage. "I'm from New England and we don't have anything like that!"
Most surly
==Brian Jonestown Massacre
His age is showing. Get an enema. Your band is not the center of the universe and you put on a lackluster, insulting show. Your pointless attempts to become political didn't save you nor did your ho-hum cheerleading for the upcoming bands. Your excuses about making some hot shit in Iceland and giving it away for free redeem you either.
You're washed up BJM. Face it and come out with something better. Clue one: get rid of Mr. Denim Mutton Chops for a starter and love your music again. You are not cool, and you never were: you are just fucking rude. I was so tempted to shout out "Dandy Warhols" but didn't fearing your have a hissy fit and run of stage (again) and drag our your boring-ass chord-fest even more.
Okay, okay, the music was tight, but still lacked anything that would draw any in but the most dis-affected. Bringing out a liter of Popov is still not going to make your music appealing. It just makes you pathetic, like the vagrant at the bus stop who still thinks booze makes him cool.
Favorite line: "Shut the fuck up while we tune! We're doing this for you!" I half-expected him at this point to tell us all to get off his lawn. Keep music evil? Uhuh. Eat me.
Most fun to dance to
==Flosstradamus
I lost my phone because I was grooving so much. (No worries it came back the next day after a night of debauchery.)
Favorite line: "This is what you get with one turntable!" (One of their turntables failed to function. They were still grooving.)
Most hot
==Kid Sister
She was pretty much on with Flostradamus and busted out the rhyme like there was no tomorrow. The crowd had thinned stupidly by the time she was getting into it. Their loss. She was on target and stunning.
Favorite line: (pointing to a kid in the audience who had glasses on) "I like guys in glasses!"
Most reason to like hip hop live
==Das EFX
They had it down. Hip hop recordings can never catch what the artists can do live.
Favorite line: "Don't be smokin' that shit, kids!" or "When I say Das, you say EFX!"
Most sad to have missed
==Ghostland Observatory
You have to hear the singers talking voice to understand why.
Favorite line: (from their live performance in Austin) "I'm so glad every body is having fun tonight!"
Most intellectual
==The Decemberists
Their drummer looks like a philosophy professor and probably is. Overall they had a very tight set and they engaged the audience. Interestingly enough they announced that they had an EP coming out with their song "Perfect Crime" which appeared on The Crane Wife. Does this mean that The Crane Wife did not sell?
Favorite line: "Man...Red Rocks." (Stated as the feedback from Black Rebel Motor Cycle club was raining down on them. They pulled it back together and overwhelmed the crowd with their last song.)
Most interesting British band to bring back talk-singing since David Niven
==Art Brut
Art Brut put on a tight, driven set with songs that lasted no more than two and a half minutes.
Favorite line: "Art Bruts, are you ready?!"
Most fantastic show on the face of the planet Earth (and Mars)
==The Flaming Lips
Despite rumors to the contrary, Wayne came out in his gerbil ball to crowd surf (even though it was momentary.) The Lips stage set for their concert-venues is difficult to be beat these days. They were solid and weird, as is to be expected complete with giant and little Santas and giant and little aliens. I save some confetti.
Favorite line: "Thank you!"
Best in show
The Flaming Lips
Second-best in show
Matt & Kim
Third-best in show
The Decemberists
Labels: awards, festival, fun, music, surliness
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Wednesday, September 05, 2007
The only reason that the 9 SLC residents who read this crap should vote for Ralph Becker
1) I'll kick your ass if you don't.Enough said. ¶ 9:24 PM 4 comments
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Saturday, September 01, 2007
Elaine goes to India
Over at the WFMU blog they posted a mashup of "Jan Penechaan Ho" from the Bollywood movie Gumnaam and a Les Claypool ditty.
I decided to try my hand at a mashup with Blur's "Crazy Beat!" Damon Albarn, of course sings he vocals for Mohammed Rafi, in my version. This substitution is perfectly acceptable in Bollywood convention since playback singers such as Rafi were rather common. Think of it as early mashup.
As for the video as a whole, initially, my eye was caught by the whacked out dancing of the actress in gold in "Jan Penechaan Ho" and how much it reminded me of Elaine's dancing on Seinfeld. Remember that?
Go visit Blur and Albarn's website and buy lots of their music. Go buy Gumnaam while you're at it. Pick up some Rafi tunes too. I consider this post an unofficial advertisement and a statement of admiration for their creative work, and make no claims to it other than mixing it all around in a hopefully entertaining fashion that might inspire you to buy things from them, or, if they are dead, their official representatives.
Labels: dance, fun, mockery, music, satire
¶ 10:33 PM 2 comments
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Tuesday, July 24, 2007
O! Pioneers!
What better way to celebrate our pioneer heritage than two-stepping it? Come and trip it as you go, on the light fantastic toe, as it were. Dance along with Brother Brigham if you dare!
Labels: dancing, fun, holiday, pioneer_day, Utah
¶ 10:41 AM 9 comments
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Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Wayne Coyne's Guide to Festival Survival
Sage advice from Wayne Coyne (Flaming Lips) for your summer festival enjoyment:WC: The idea that you go to a festival and you feel like you have to see everything, all your favorite bands, I think sometimes that can kind of wear you down. It has to be like eating at the Golden Corral, where it's all you can eat, until you try to eat the barbecue chicken and the calamari. By the time you get to the fourth thing, you're burned out. My suggestion to people is just enjoy your day. Your band is playing, you get to see a little bit of them. Go see them for 10 or 15 minutes, and enjoy your friends and enjoy your day. As the sun goes down, it's a lot easier to endure."
or
WC: I think the worst thing is don't get drunk and pass out by 1 o'clock in the afternoon and be the guy who's laying out in the open field throwing up at 2 in the afternoon. We see that all the time, like my God, how big of a miscalculation was that? The guy's laying there, and he's going to get sunburned, and it's just miserable. Not only that, he's going to feel worse after this, and he's missing the show at the same time. So if you've never drunk that much beer before, don't try it at a festival in the middle of the summer. I think it's better if you're younger, too. The older you get, the more you're like, "Why would I want to stand in the heat all day with a bunch of drunk morons?" When you're young, and the possibility of having sex is in the air, and you're seeing new things, that's a beautiful thing. ("Wayne Coyne's Guide to Festival Surval", The Onion AV Club)I'm going to see the Flaming Lips in September at the Monolith Festival in the Red Rocks Amphitheatre. Luckily it will be cooler by then. I also don't plan on exploiting the VIP bar and make a the terrible miscalculation that Wayne mentions. ¶ 5:47 PM 3 comments
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Monday, July 02, 2007
Failed analogy
Given that it is summer, I thought I would provide you with just snack writing, gentle reader. Snacks are the best summer cuisine. Rather than "snacks" I think we should use the Spanish word tapas. When I think of Spain I think of eternal summer, even though I know it is not aways summer there and they do, indeed have cold weather, pine trees, and snow.One can dream of the land of eternal summer, however.
So the point of tapas is not to have a point. You just eat small portions until you are full, drink some wine, and then fall asleep beneath and Andalusian sky.
You wake up to bread and cheese and then start the whole thing over again. That's what summer is and that is what writing in the summer is.
Too bad it has to end.
Labels: cheese, elaborate-analogy, failure, food, fun, pointless, rambling, season, summer, tapas, wine, writing
¶ 10:53 AM 3 comments
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Thursday, February 15, 2007
So what's it going to take silver shadow believer?
Fun times.Since I still can't post proper bowling events on the Bowling Syndicate, I'll do it here.
Captain Fireball is still breaking in.
Homer bowled a 215!
Look on ye mighty and despair! With a spare!
Sarahbellum accidentally joined us, so it was the first official Bloggerfest 2007 SLC.
Pictures to follow in the usual place. ¶ 9:20 PM 1 comments
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Saturday, February 03, 2007
"So let it be written! So let it be done!"
Ok, we've bandied this about enough, my droogies. I now present to you TEAM ENGLISH : CafePress.com. To quote from the site, "You teach English and love poetry but you are no namby-pamby panty-waist! You ride your bike up 6% grades with ease and have a killer outside jump shot. You split infinitives and undangle modifiers with glee. You bowl consistently over 90 and love to talk shit about those wimps in the Philosophy Department."The only question I have is who is going to be the one to buy Stephen the shirt?
We definitely need to have a TEAM ENGLISH day. Hightouch? Is this a 5 Year Plan Committee mission?
Bowling, anyone?
Labels: English, fun, humor, poetry, revenge
¶ 2:33 PM 5 comments
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