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Saturday, April 28, 2007

How I'm going to gain back that 35 pounds I lost


How I'm going to gain back that 35 pounds I lost, originally uploaded by Theorris.

Did I tell you I lost 35 pounds? I don't want to hit middle age being a fat fuck. (I would have said "portly" but that is too precious and too mild of a word.) I wasn't grossly overweight, but if I would have kept up the trend, I would have been said fat fuck by the time I hit 50.

The weight-losing was actually a bet with Herd Cattleson. We either lost the weight or ended up funding an all-expense paid trip to visit in our respective cities. As an added bit of horror, we both agreed to donate $100 to a truly horrible person we both know if we didn't lose at least 20 pounds.

My tight-fisted Scots genes won out against my foodly desires and I lost the weight. Herd also lost the weight and it was a draw.

I'm going for another 10 pounds so I can sport that speedo at your nearest swimming hole. Just kidding. I am definitely NOT that guy.

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Monday, April 16, 2007

If you don't have anything nice to say....

So I've been out of town since Wednesday of last week at a conference. It was not that I didn't have Internet access nor that I was super-busy at said conference, but that I really found nothing interesting in the host city to comment upon. Everything I could think of ended up being a bitch, so I'll forgo all that just to say I was out of town and that is that. I might post some pictures.
Maybe.

Or maybe you want to read my bitching about city sterility, lack of humanity, no ATMs ANYWHERE, empty-headed planning, urban decay, pointlessness, unhappy race-relations, and an overall sense of urban banality that goes on, and on, and on?

Guess which city I was in, and win a prize of sheer exuberance. (No cheating those of you who know where I went.)

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Random observation

It is snowing and it is beautiful.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

So what's it going to take silver shadow believer?

Fun times.

Since I still can't post proper bowling events on the Bowling Syndicate, I'll do it here.

Captain Fireball is still breaking in.

Homer bowled a 215!

Look on ye mighty and despair! With a spare!

Sarahbellum accidentally joined us, so it was the first official Bloggerfest 2007 SLC.

Pictures to follow in the usual place.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Why I will not write a ubiquitous Valentines Day post

I have nothing to say.

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Saturday, February 03, 2007

"So let it be written! So let it be done!"

Ok, we've bandied this about enough, my droogies. I now present to you TEAM ENGLISH : CafePress.com. To quote from the site, "You teach English and love poetry but you are no namby-pamby panty-waist! You ride your bike up 6% grades with ease and have a killer outside jump shot. You split infinitives and undangle modifiers with glee. You bowl consistently over 90 and love to talk shit about those wimps in the Philosophy Department."

The only question I have is who is going to be the one to buy Stephen the shirt?

We definitely need to have a TEAM ENGLISH day. Hightouch? Is this a 5 Year Plan Committee mission?

Bowling, anyone?

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Wookie headbutts in the news...

Hah:
"In front of the famous Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd, dozens of people make a living by dressing up in costumes and asking tourists for money to have their photo taken with them. You'll find Elmos, Supermans, Jack Sparrows, Darth Vaders, and Chewbaccas sidling up to tourists from all over the world and then demanding money when a photo is taken.

On Friday, a 6-foot-5 man in a Chewbacca costume allegedly head-butted a tour guide after the guide chastised him for being mean to two female Japanese tourists. He was arrested." (Boing Boing: Unruly Chewbacca personator head-butts tour guide)
We should get this guy to join the Bowling Syndicate, I think.

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Friday, February 02, 2007

Meet Captain Fireball


Meet Captain Fireball, originally uploaded by Theorris.

My new ball finally arrived. This is a pin's-eye view, if pins had eyes and zoom lenses.

Look on ye mighty and despair!

You will find my trunkless legs about 2,000 years from now towering over Olympus Hills Bowling Alley.

Note: I would have posted this in its proper place on the Bowling Syndicate (q.v.) but suddenly since I upgraded to the new Googlized Blogger I am not allowed to post there. Oh mighty Sleepy E despair! Captain Fireball will crush you for this insult!

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"It is a tale/Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury...." (Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act 5, scene 3, 26-27)

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Name: theorris
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah, United States

Two things I need: 1) Environmentally sound vehicle with sporty looks but able to go camping at the drop of a tent pole; 2)Google to allow the strike tag back into their profile box. Do nothing evil, eh, Google? That's pretty damn evil.

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2007: simple living.